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Favorite Quotes
"Human history becomes more
and more a race between education and catastrophe." In the first place God made idiots.
This was for practice. Then he made School Boards. "Once you eliminate the impossible,
whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth."
"Let us so live that
when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry!" "Good teaching is one-fourth
preparation and three-fourths theater." You're only given a little spark
of madness. You mustn't lose it. We must not be afraid to follow
the truth, wherever it may lead. "The best way to find yourself
is to lose yourself in the service of others." "As God as my witness,... I
thought turkeys could fly." "The man who goes alone can
start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready." "The boisterous sea of liberty
is never without a wave." "Talk is cheap!" " It ain't what you don't know
that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't
so." "Some cause happiness wherever
they go; others, whenever they go." "The difference between fiction
and reality? Fiction has to make sense." - General George S. Patton (1885-1945) "Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
"The true measure of a man
is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." "God, please save me from your
followers!" "It has become appallingly
obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." "A man can't be too careful
in the choice of his enemies." "The object of war is not to
die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." "Bigamy is having one wife
too many. Monogamy is the same." "Always do right- this will
gratify some and astonish the rest." "If I were two-faced, would
I be wearing this one?" "I have never let my schooling
interfere with my education." "The only thing necessary for
the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." "I'm not a member of any organized
political party, I'm a Democrat!" "If stupidity got us into this
mess, then why can't it get us out?" " "Democracy does not guarantee
equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity."
"God gave men both
a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run
both at the same time." "We are not retreating - we
are advancing in another Direction." Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it. What luck for the rulers that men
do not think. "Life is what we make it, always
has been, always will be." Power tends to corrupt, and absolute
power tends to corrupt absolutely A common mistake that people make
when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate
the ingenuity of complete fools. If everything's under control,
you're going too slow. We ought to do good to others as
simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a vine bears grapes
season after season without thinking of the grapes it has borne. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately
it kills all its pupils. Life moves pretty fast, If you don't
take a look around once and awhile, you could miss it. If you think education is expensive,
try ignorance. If we couldn't laugh, we would
all go insane. I came, I saw, I conquered. I don't know the key to success,
but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. History teaches us that men and
nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
We will either find a way or make
one. What is a committee? A group of
the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. The death of democracy is not likely
to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from
apathy, indifference, and undernourishment. Each time a person stands up for
an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against
injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other
from a million different centers of energy and daring, these ripples
build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression
and resistance. Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve
greatly. Some see things that are, and ask why. i dream of things that
never were and ask why not. It is well that war is so terrible,
or we should get too fond of it. Religion... is the opium of the
masses. Every moment of our life can be
the beginning of great things "Forgive your enemies, but
never forget their names." "In the end, everything is
a gag." "God is a comedian playing
to an audience too afraid to laugh." "A lie gets halfway around
the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." "I do not feel obliged to believe
that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect
has intended us to forgo their use." "Well done is better than well
said." "Learning is what most adults
will do for a living in the 21st century." "In the End, we will remember
not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
"In America, anybody can be
president. That's one of the risks you take." All you need in this life is ignorance
and confidence, and then success is sure. Ask me no questions, and I'll tell
you no lies. Beer is living proof that God loves
us and wants us to be happy. Children nowadays are tyrants. They
contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannise their teachers. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice
doggie' until you can find a rock. First law on holes - when you're
in one, stop digging. I almost shudder at the thought of alluding to
the most fatal example of the abuses of grief which the history of mankind
has preserved -- the Cross. Consider what calamities that engine of
grief has produced! Of all the systems of religion that ever were
invented, there is no more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifiying
to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than
this thing called Christianity. Where knowledge ends, religion begins. They that can give up essential liberty to obtain
a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. The most heinous and the most cruel crimes of
which history has record have been committed under the cover of religion
or equally noble motives. Religion is a disease. It is born of fear; it
compensates through hate in the guise of authority, revelation. Religion,
enthroned in a powerful social organization, can become incredibly sadistic.
No religion has been more cruel than the Christian. "The Constitution only gives people the
right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." "Three may keep a secret, if two of them
are dead." The human race has one really effective
weapon, and that is laughter. An eye for eye only ends up making
the whole world blind. No matter what anybody tells you,
words & ideas can change the world.
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Last updated on Saturday April 22, 2006